Raindrops

I like this picture.

I need to vent!

I am tired- I am sick and tired of all this. I AM DONE! I don't want any part of it.

FINISHED!

You know how you have that one side of the family, mom or dads, that is really weird and rude, but you love them anyways.... Mine's not like that. Never has been, never will be. In this case, I am talking about my father's side of the family- the mean, stuck up side. For many many years now, they have looked down on my family just because we are not filfthy rich, and miserable, like they are. Oh so miserable. They think that money can buy love.... If we were rich, would they look at us differently?? If we were not there at Thanksgiving and Christmas and Easter and Mother's Day, would they notice?? Would it even matter? They never approved of my mother when my father brought her back home. You see, I am pretty much full Irish, and that means I have a ridiculously large family- my dad has 7 sisters and 1 brother, and they all have 3-4 kids. Large, right? ANd my Grandmother has 12 brothers and sisters.... We are breeders. So, why don't they accept us? They never invite us to go on their annual cruises or to even go out shopping. I have never spent time with one aunt, alone, to talk. I am always surrounded by my other aunts and their obnoxious kids. I only like one aunt and uncle, and they happen to be my godparents- Aunt Michelle and Uncle Andy and their son Neil. They are the most humble and thoughtful people, but when they are around the rest of the family, they put on that mask and blend in with the rest of the crowd.

The reason for venting is- a couple years ago my dad owned his own remodeling company and he had a business parter who robbed us blind, but during that time there was a mix up with some tile, worth a lot, that was never ordered by my dad and the company wants us to pay for it. But the company didn't have our new address, so they went to my grandmothers house and asked her for the money. Huge mix up and my grandmother is taking it wrong. She has turned into this.... what's the word... Bitch, that's it. Her and her youngest daughter are both being ridiculous and bitches right now. It's gotten to the point were my grandmother called at 6am saying that "This needs to be taken care of. NOW!" You could of said it a little better there Grandma! And even worse is my youngest aunt, the other bitch, does my mother's nails. Awkward....

That felt good. I am so tired of that family. I am NOT going to Thanksgiving. I am NOT going to Christmas. And I am NOT going to any other family functions, I don't care if they are family.

AND they will not be present at my wedding when I get married. HA!

Paradox Statement

The paradox of our time in history is that we have

taller buildings but shorter tempers,

wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families,

more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense,

more knowledge, but less judgment,

more experts, yet more problems,

more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much,

spend too recklessly, laugh too little,

drive too fast, get too angry,

stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little,

watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back,

but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information,

to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,

big men and small character,

steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce,

fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality,

one night stands, overweight bodies,

and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you,

and a time when you can choose either to share this insight,

or to just hit delete...

Love is like a Vitamin.

I have been trying to figure out what colleges to go to.

I have listed the colleges and a reason why,

hoping I can find the right one.

1.) Sacramento State- My mother's brother and wife live there, along with my Nana. I love Sacramento; I fell in love with it the first time I went there. It's so peaceful and yet it's a town that never sleeps.

2.) Oregon State University- They have the best psychology program there and I have family there. Their science program is top notch.

3.) Boston University- Ohh, I love Boston. It's funny because I have never been there, yet. But I know I want to go there and practice.

All I know is that I want to get out of this hello hole they call Fresno.

I know I am going to take a year off and study abroad, clear my head,

before I encounter 12 years of school.

I don't know if I can do 12 years......

Tagged!

I was tagged by Slayville, so now it's my turn.

Seven Weird Facts:

1.) I cannot stand the feeling of cotton balls.

2.) Orange is my favorite colour, most people hate it.

3.) I love the smell of fresh clothes out of the dryer.

4.) My plan is to get my MD and PhD,

but I have a feeling that I am going to hate my life if I do.

5.) Simple things inspire me.

6.) I only have a few friends.

7.) I am pretty tall for a girl my age, 5'8", and I am still growing.

Sarah-Ashely

Kate

Kate

Jelisa

Janelle

Quentin Fields.

Quentin Fields was a basketball player.
He was also a son.
A brother.
Somebody's teammate.
Somebody's friend.
I never knew Quentin Fields and I guess now I never will.
Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore.
If you were suddenly gone how would your world react?
Whatever you imagined was wrong.
There's nothing romantic about death.
Grief is like the ocean: it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us.
And pain is like a thief in the night.
Quiet.
Persistent.
Unfair.
Diminished by the time and faith and love.
I didn't know Quentin Fields but I'm jealous of him because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him so I know that he did matter to them.
And I know he was loved.
People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player.
Graceful.
Fluid.
Inspiring.
They say on a good night it almost seemed as though he could fly.



And now he can......

I know I won't cry...

"Because I know that there is somebody waiting for me..."


So my life is one big mess- It is a constant surprise, but not the good ones though. Sadly. I need excitement in my dull life, or lack there of life.






I read a story about an 8-month old boy named James. He was a normal boy, until he had a seizure and his mother rushed him to the hospital as fast as her car could take her. The baby was given a spinal tap test and had to have blood drawn. If anyone has experienced spinal tap, you know it hurts like hell and drawing blood isn't that much fun either. But instead of crying, the baby simply laughed. The solution- he couldn't feel pain....



Imagine what life would be like without pain, without sorrow, not knowing what happiness was......

The Tide.

"And there's three, count 'em three - children missing from the beach;
They were eager to learn- to be taught, and to teach.

But there's something is that they never lived past the age of 15
Due to neglect; From their mother who was bed-riden by her ex-lover -

Their father.

And she didn't even notice, or pay much attention as the tide came in
& Swept her three into the ocean.

Now, Oh, her advice- it seems useless....."

Promises, Promises.

We live in a lonely life

All alone in a lonely fight

Wondering if I'll be all right without you

All you needed was a second chance

A different song for a different dance

Now I'm ready for a glance at life without you

If we're so young and free why do you pressure me

Why are you pushing me away

For all I've done for you

For all you've put me through

There's nothing left for me to say, but I...

Promise you promise you that

Promise I'll never chance

Promise you promise you that

That your heart will break......

My dearest sister, Megan.

Yesterday was my sister's 18th birthday.

It started out with my waking her up with breakfast.

Then Carlos came over and gave her a basket full of goodies.

And All gave her some hot shoes, silver. Yumm.

Mark, of course, gave her "intimates".

And my gift: Besides feeding her for the past 16 years

&& cleaning up after her every move....

A very sexy purple corsette!

Which took Ally and I 6 hours to find.

After rigorously cleaning and a very nice lunch at Olive Garden,

I went on a baking frenzy.

Making everything from eclairs to brownies;

Watergate salad to the birthday cake.

7:30- The guest start coming.

Music is blasting out of our backyard

&& I'm pretty sure you could hear it down the street.

Major partying going on.

Major lapdances going on, too.

Twister matches, a lot of people awkwardly sitting around.

The party has just died out.

One more guest still here.

I am exhausted.Extremely.

Plus, I don't think my dress could have been any shorter.

It didn't help that I was wearing heels.

&& that I am tall to begin with.

Slut?

Noooo..... It was tasteful, at least.

My baby sister has all grown up.

She has to learn to be an adult.

But I know that she will get there.

She's only 18 once.
&& She can buy cigs, porn, rent hotel rooms, and order off the TV.

Wooooo.

That's what she most excited about.

I love you, Meg.

Hope your birthday was everything you wanted,

And more.

XOXo Nicolette

Creativity.

Life changes.

You get it all lined up just the way you like it

& Then something beyond your control comes along

And bumps you off center.

How nice it would be if you could get everything just the way you want it

& say, "Okay, now, stay."

But nothing stays the same.

You grow up, make friends, lose friends,

Go to college, lose track of people, meet new ones,

And sometimes you ask yourself why.

But all I can tell you is the every single experience you go through

Like this changed you in some way.

Every new person who comes into your life changes you.

Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you.

It's your job.

You decide how.

That's how character is developed.

I'm Yours.

I've been spending way too long checking my toung in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer.

But my breath fogged up the glass,

So I drew a face and I laughed.....

-K.

The Trouble with Love is....

Okay, So I'm not ugly. At least that's what people have been saying to me for some time now. So why am I not taken? Is there something un-dateable about me? Do I repulse guys? Seriously- I have brains, beauty, sarcasm.... I think I just answered my own question.

Isn't it funny that a guy only sees a girl if she's physically attractive, but if shes a great person and doesn't wear skimpy clothes, she is passed by. Why are men today thinking with the wrong head?

It's not that I need a man to complete me, but it would be nice to have someone, of the opposite sex, to spend time with and care for and spoil. Every girl needs to go through that at least once in their life, and I haven't had it once.

Something to think about when you are out-- dress skimpy one day and see how many heads turn when you walk by, and then dress conservative and see how those results vary.

-A little psychology.

Welcome Letter

Well, this is something new I am trying for myself. It's another way for me to get out my feelings and emotions, besides my trusty-sidekick, my journal. I write a lot, just about as much as I talk. When I talk, it's not nonsense, besides what the crowds may think. Don't be affraid to stop by and chat.

Look for my new blog soon. It'll probably be on my love life, actually lack-there-of love life.