I'm having a "Carrie" moment again. I love it when this happens because I can write freely and am inspired. There are a few topics I want to cover: Friendship, my new favorite television show, and becoming a woman. A random mix, yes, but all with a purpose. Rest assured. (A little bit of Billy Shakespeare comes out too ;] )
Topic One: Friends or Not. Recently, I have found myself attached to a new group of friends, and of course I love being diverse and not being around the same bloody people everyday. My new crew consists of Jordan- a spunky 16-year-old with a sex addiction, and Steff- 18 and still in her shell. Odd group, but we all fit and make sense. But this is how I use to feel like with my other friends. If you are a follower, you have read about the wonderful best friend Sam Starr. I love this girl; she is my twin and I can't get tired of her, which is shocking. Nowadays, I see her every blue moon, literally, due to schedule conflicts and working and just flat out bad timing. I would usually see her around campus, but the last time I saw her there was frost on the ground. So it's been quite awhile. I miss her dearly. Out of random, she texts me and asks when we can meet up, but I know she constantly works and it's hard to get away. Totally understandable. Then, curious me, sees on her Facebook that she has been hanging out with a mutual friend of ours for the past week everyday. Now, I'm not the jealous type (yeah right) but that kinda lit a fire under me. Am I not worthy enough anymore? Is it all about your new boyfriend (Which I haven't meet and they have been dating since December, just to add fuel to the fire)? Maybe it is the Green Monster coming out in me, and maybe I do need constant attention, but it won't kill you to say, "Hey, I'm free. Let's grab coffee." Coffee use to be our thing; every time she said LETS HANG OUT, I automatically went to Starbucks. And our mutual friend Christine doesn't have the courage to call up and wonder where I've been. I think that's what got me- they didn't try once to call. When I confronted them, they used the "You feel off the face of the earth, so we figured you were busy." Never "figure", never "guess". That angers me. I guess I'm changing, and so is Sam so I shouldn't expect her to drop everything and visit me... But I would do it for her. In a heartbeat. Have I filtered myself out so much to where people "assume" I'm busy? Do I do this on purpose, or just bad timing? Should I jump back in, or stay out where I'm comfortable and know I won't risk anything? But aren't friends worth risking for??........
On that deep note, on to Topic Two: Television; The thing that has rotted our brains and appearances and consumed our attention. I have found a new addiction (that's what I call a show that I can't stop watching, much like a drug) and it's called United States of Tara. It appears on Showtime, and it's a fairly new serious. If you don't have Showtime, this show has Toni Collete, Australian actress, and John Corbett, guy from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Tara, Toni Collette's character, suffers from D.I.D, Dissociative Identity Disorder, where you develop multiple personalities. Sounds wacky, but that's barely the beginning. Tara and Max (Corbett) have two kids, Kate and Marshall. Marshall is at that "coming of age" time and thinks he might be gay, but there is always a twist. Kate is a recent high school graduate whose main goal is to get out of her crazy house. It's crazy, but for all you Psychology lovers- this show is for you. I'd recommend checking it out.
Topic Three: Becoming a Lady. In six day, I will be 18. I know my blog says I'm older, I don't even know what the fake age is, and I happen to be very mature and developed for my age. All my life I dreamed of turning 18 and becoming legal and doing whatever I want. Now that it's so close, I still feel that way. I can basically be my own person, not that I'm not. I plan on doing every thing you are supposed to do when you hit this age; like party and get a tattoo and smoke, though I think smoking is beyond disgusting. But the fact that I can buy it says something. I feel like I'm growing up and taking on more responsibilities, like finding a stable job and buying my own car... I'm excited. I don't want to set my hopes up too high though; I've had enough disappointment in one life. I don't want to grow up too fast...
That's all that's on my mind, surprisingly. I want to update more often and hopefully get more subscribers.
For now....
Nicolette Beaumont.
